Japanese Dating

5 Tips for Dating Japanese Women

Japanese women are some of the most elegant, feminine, and sincerest sweethearts you will ever meet in your life. From Tokyo to Osaka, Kyoto and Sapporo, Japan is full of bustling cities full of new foods, cultural differences, and lots of beautiful women.

Japan is full of delicious foods, new adventures, and the most presumably popular, such as rice, tempura, shabu-shabu, sushi, and Tonkatsu. Japanese women are tiny, petite, and full of bubbly energy, love to adventure, and take great pride in both their culture and femininity.

1) Learning how to read Japanese women

Often, when out on a date or while meeting a new Japanese woman of your interest they are typically quite shy. Japanese women also have a reputation for being indirect, sensitive to both themselves and you, and do not have a reputation or habit of saying no.

While at the same time Japanese women do love to receive attention, affection, and flirtation from men, this does not mean that every Japanese woman will be interested in you, and it’s not hard to misread her intentions or desires.

Some Japanese women respond best to blunt, direct statements or advances, but others will not. It’s critical that you feel out the Japanese woman you’re interested in, learn and understand her as a person, her culture, and what she does or doesn’t like.

It’s important to understand that often, in comparison to other Asian women that Japanese women can be especially flaky. Try not to take it personally, as Japanese women take great pride in their appearance, so if they’re tired, in a bad mood, or the weather outside is unfriendly they may very well cancel your plans at the last minute.

In Japan this is known as “dotakyan”, and it’s not by any means uncommon for first time dates with your Japanese woman or lover. What’s the best way to tell whether or not you’re Japanese woman is truly interested in you?

Likely quick replies to text messages, her showing a genuine interest in you by calling you, communication in general, and of course, her not being tardy or avoiding your advances and date offers.

a group of Japanese bikini babes

2) Learn their “language of love” to up your chances

For visiting anywhere in the world, but especially Asian countries and Japan, learning a few phrases along the way never hurt anybody. In fact, the more Japanese phrases or vocabulary you have, the better you’ll be able to communicate.

While plenty of Japanese women do speak and understand English, not all are fluent. It’s also worth understanding that if you really want to emotionally understand and have a long-term, valuable relationship with open communication that speaking her native language is essential.

Also, learning Japanese will increase your understanding of their culture, how they express their emotions (see body language below), and what or why they act the ways they do.

Even if you don’t know any Japanese or only speak a little, facial expressions and hand gestures go a long way. Of course, avoid being aggressive, and instead use basic emotions and expressions to let your Japanese girlfriend know how you’re feeling, or if you’re ‘into her’.

Hand gestures also help, but take your time, be patient, and most importantly make sure you smile. Dating a Japanese woman doesn’t have to be an unpleasant or difficult experience. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to be a little physical with a simple hand on her back, hand rub, touch her face, give hugs, but take your time going in for the first kiss.

People from Japan and women in particular happen to be very nice, and as we’ve mentioned might find it hard to say no, so take your time, bring your Japanese woman of interest on dates, fun places, and just be yourself! (see more on this below)

3) Don’t be afraid to be the real you

Being a foreigner in Japan is by no means a bad thing. You’re different, unique, and expectations for you by Japanese women will vary, but typically it consists of holding you with great regard.

Chivalry is not typically very common among Japanese men and women, so if this is your area of “expertise”, definitely don’t hesitate to demonstrate those traits. Japanese women will absolutely enjoy and adore you for it, but just make sure you’re not demeaning her in any way or “pacifying” her in a way that she might find offensive.

Japanese women in particular usually happen to be rather well off or wealthy, and because of this are not afraid to “go Dutch” with you for the bill on dates, a casual coffee, or other outings. This however does not mean it’s impossible or impractical to treat her sometimes, just make sure you’re reading your Japanese lover the right ways.

Japanese women love to feel special, and flattering them with ways you would do back home but don’t necessarily work are actually likely to be applied successfully here. Again, being yourself goes a long way, and treating her with both respect and affection can be effective as well.

pretty Japanese girl with a hat

4) Being forward is being smart

Japanese women not only admire a confident man, but in particular appreciate a man who makes the first moves, and does so with both respect and care. Japanese women tend to be very shy, so making the first move with text messages, phone calls, or making plans is the norm here.

While Japanese women don’t necessarily expect or desire an over-zealous, macho, or “alpha male”, they do per their culture expect you to pull the weight in the relationship. Japanese women also happen to find it very attractive if you’re not only mentally strong, but also physically – such as picking things up for her, moving heavy things, or even a fun and spontaneous piggyback ride.

Strength mentally is also very appealing to Japanese women, so don’t be afraid to let her know about your career involvement or pursuit, aspirations for higher education, and any other independent-style endeavors and success you’ve had in your life.

It’s not so much “gold digging” as it is both curiosity, and offering her an inside look as to your stability and confidence – to consider the potential of being her future mate or husband.

5) Japanese women love to dance and have fun, but are NOT alcoholics

this is a last but not least very important thing to keep in mind when hanging out with, courting, or dating a Japanese girl. They are extremely energetic, optimistic, and are typically happy people but are not the most conditioned drinkers by any means.

In fact, most Japanese women and people in general do not have a reputation or much experience with getting drunk or having more than they can handle. This is typically due to their beliefs of strength in reputation, and maintaining ones integrity.

So, be classy, be reasonable, and be responsible. Your Japanese girlfriend will find it attractive, and in turn likely trust you more too. The Japanese are not afraid to have a few shots with dinner or for fun, but do not mistake this as being, or willing to be a party animal. And if you do, expect a likely bad outcome, possibly poor experience, and even wind up having your Japanese girlfriend looking at you in a negative light because of it.